Tears and Cries...Part of our Lives!
Last month, I went to a university to deliver a lecture on Emotional Quotient. After it got over; a student came to see me in the department of journalism, where I was having coffee with the dean of the department. I was astounded to see him…I remembered his face very well, as he was sitting in the first row and during my entire presentation of 2 hours, he kept mum. He seemed lost in his own world. As a presenter; sometimes it is very challenging to come across such an audience. I tried to make the lecture interesting and interactive by including humour and cracking jokes yet there seemed no impact on him and then to avoid digression, I thought to not to pay heed to him. ‘So…what is he doing here? And why does he want to see me?’ I asked myself. He waited till all the other professors left the room and then he began with his conversation. He had tears in his eyes which made me more restless. He narrated his entire story which included his emotional imbalance, weakness and feeling self-accusation. He told me that he was very weak emotionally and due to which he would cry very often. He talked about his family members who also made of a fun of him by saying ‘Why do you behave like a girl as crying is a girlish trait?’ Because of this habit, he avoided meeting people, social gatherings and even coming to the college. This affected his performance as a student and a learner very badly. He wanted me to tell him why he was so weak emotionally and how could he overcome surmount his problems. ‘I'm no psychologist,’ I told him ‘but I will try to help you.’ Then I asked him several questions regarding his personal life. After talking to him for about 40 minutes, I managed to jot down all the relevant points about his personal life such as how he lost his father at a very young age, how his mother got depressed because of this sudden turmoil, how due to financial crisis, he didn't have a penny to pay his fees and how inferior he would feel to see the boys of his age around him, putting on their best clothes, shoes and playing in the evening so on and so forth.
I didn't utter a single word during those 40 minutes except listening and nodding my head to him and in this way, I let him pour his heart. Now it was my turn to express my point of view and I started to counsel him. The very first thing, which I revealed to him, was that he was not unfit emotionally as our crying is a humanly instinct. Tears are a way to express our emotions of sadness and happiness. Though they are considered a weak trait of a person but everyone has unique personality and individuality and we cannot compare one person with the other as our personality is formed on the basis of our surroundings and circumstances as well. The person who expresses his feelings in such a way, never burdens his soul…I mean he expresses whatever he has in his heart and never lives with a heavy heart. He is honest as he can’t hide anything from the person close to him so we should not get scared of tears just because they project as vulnerable people. While talking to him, I could see a beam of hope on the boy’s face. I suggested him to start writing a journal or a diary to express his pent up emotions. I also told him to come out of his comfort zone and to start interacting with people around him as he would have to get rid of his fallacy that everyone is selfish and self-centered and this would surely provide him with lots of confidence. Books are the best friends that never betray us so I asked him to befriend them. Reading crams us with lots of knowledge which would help him while speaking with the people from diverse fields. I suggested him to set his small goals and to make strategies to achieve them. At the end of our conversation, he assured me that he would work on his emotions by following my suggestions. After expressing his gratefulness, he left the room and I could see a change in his swagger. Thank God…the purpose of my lecture was fulfilled!!