Side-Effects of One-Sided Love!!! Part 2

Well, friends, life is what we make it. If we’re full of pessimism, there’s no life and each moment seems extremely long and full of remorse and monotony. The same happened with my friend whose story I shared with you the last week. She lost her vigor for her life after her proposal was turned down by the love of her life. She even didn’t talk to me on the way back home. I didn’t see her after that unfortunate day.

Today, in the morning, I received a call from her and she asked me to meet at a restaurant as that is the place where we could sit and chit chat for some time. After placing an order for my favorite dishes (I was flattered to see that she still remembers the names of my favorite dishes).
I was curious to know about the remaining story which transformed her personality entirely. While having our coffee, we recalled our old days, teachers, and our pranks and so on. Then I asked her how come she changed this much. I could see the changing expressions that gave a stern look to her face and she started recalling her story.

She told me that she desired to write a book on her bitter experience as she didn’t want any young girl or boy to go through the trauma if he/she is rejected by someone. After that devastating incidence, she attempted suicide but was saved by her brother and after that her life became like a hell. Everything seemed to have changed overnight. Her parents, who used to shower their love on her, couldn’t bear her presence for a single minute. She kept crying for several months without having food. It was like the end of the life!
But she kept taking revenge from her ‘self’ and from her ‘body’ which led to several diseases such as insomnia, depression, lack of appetite, and interest in her life and now even her parents wanted her to die. This situation bent out of shape and eventually made her existence negligible in her own family.

One evening, (after 4-5 months) while flipping over the pages of the folder which contained her certificates which she had won in several academic competitions, made her realize that she was bearing the brunt for nothing and she decided why she’s sacrificing her time, career, and life for someone who didn’t value in her life anymore.  At that very moment, she took a resolution to give one more chance to her life. Back then, it was a big thing to fail so her parents rejected her decision of further studies as they wanted her to marry. But she was adamant and she managed to cajole them that she would bear the expenses of her studies. That year, she filled up the private form for her class 10th. In the meanwhile, she joined a part time job. She invested her money in books and painting which was her passion. In spite of very busy schedule, she was enjoying this phase of learning.
Yoga had become an inseparable part of her daily routine. Gradually, transformation in her personality was visible. She became confident and people were startled to see the change in her. Her parents also changed to see her progressing in her life. She completed her graduation, shifted to Delhi and later got selected in an MNC. Since then, she didn’t look back and she’s thankful to that boy who declined her proposal otherwise she would not have acknowledged and unleashed the potential she had. During our three and the half hours of conversation, I could see a different smile and strong determination on her face. Later we bid goodbye to each other with a promise to meet frequently. I continued to see her swagger and elegantly flipping her bag over her shoulder and disappearing in her expensive Mercedes car.
So, folks, rejection in a one-sided love, leave a person in lurch which makes his life difficult enormously. This damages his self-confidence and self-respect up to a great extent.

According to Abraham Maslow, a well known psychologist, Self-Esteem is a requisite in the hierarchy of human needs. Like physiological, social, and security needs, the need of self-esteem also gratifies us. If someone is not able to fulfill this need of his, he finds no vibrancy in his life.
Many a time he decides to end his life due to lack of determination. Though it’s very hard to come out of the misery yet it’s not impossible. But how is it possible?? It’s really very simple, after failing in our love affairs; we need to divert our thought process. Rather than avenging from our ‘selves’, it’s better to change the object of revenge. “There is no better time to be motivated to push the limits of your body than after a break-up.” We can take a plunge in to the world of solitude but our ‘selves’ must be pampered and taken care of.
In order to overcome the angst and trauma of break-up, we can hit the gym. This relaxes us, makes us look better and helps us to get inner strength which doesn’t let our morale down.

The other way to release the tension after a heart-break is yoga. This is not about twisting and twitching our body parts only but this can transform our life at a large scale as it provides us with enormous confidence.

Self-worth is something which decides the success paths of our life. Exhibiting poor self-image gives others a chance to underestimate us which should not be allowed at any cost. So now on, no self-pity or self-denial since no one else can decide our fate. We are the master of our own fate!!!

Mamta Sharma
reference: Revenge served, Sunday Times of India Sep 4.


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